Choose Your Riot
Private Dinner (2-4), Dinner Party (6-12)
Standard catering is a surrender to the status quo. We’re here to lead the uprising. Whether you need a Weekly Fridge Takeover to fuel your grind, a Private Revolution for an intimate inner circle, or a Full-Scale Occupation of your kitchen for your next event, we bring the heat and the strategy. This isn't just a menu—it’s a tactical strike against boring flavor. Pick your mission, signal the chef, and let the riot begin.
Riot Provisions
In-Home Meal Prep | Tactical Nutrition
Your fridge shouldn’t be a graveyard of forgotten leftovers—it should be an arsenal. Riot Provisions is our elite in-home meal prep service designed for those who refuse to settle for bland, pre-packaged 'health food.' We invade your kitchen, execute a high-voltage menu tailored to your targets, and leave your shelves stocked with chef-crafted fuel for the week ahead. You get the flavor of a five-star revolution with the convenience of a home-cooked meal. No dishes, no grocery lines, no surrendering to takeout. Just pure, unadulterated provisions.
The Arsenal Audit
Strategic Sourcing & Pantry Fortification
A revolution runs on resources. If your pantry is a chaotic mix of expired spices and empty boxes, you’ve already lost the battle. We execute a full tactical sweep of your kitchen—purging the weak links, organizing your assets, and restocking your shelves with elite ingredients. We don’t just buy groceries; we curate a supply line of chef-approved essentials that keep your kitchen battle-ready at all times. Stop foraging. Start cooking
Riot Provisions
We Shop. We Cook. We Clean. You Eat.
Time is the only luxury you can’t buy—but you can reclaim it. With Riot Provisions, we stock your home with curated, nutrient-dense meals tailored to your specific palate. Most meal preps are made in factories. Riot Provisions is made in your home. Our chefs transform your kitchen once a week, leaving behind a fridge full of bold, labeled, and ready-to-devour meals.
Don’T worry!
Save time and stress with a lifestyle change that takes the guesswork out. Meal prepping isn’t just about organized containers; it’s about eliminating the "what’s for dinner?" stress or dodging the midday energy crash from greasy takeout. By dedicating just a few hours a week to prepping delicious, portion-controlled meals, you ensure that your busiest days are fueled by wholesome ingredients rather than convenience store snacks.
I goT You!
If allergies, illness, or specific diets are something you struggle with, a personalized meal plan might be just the thing for you!
It’s an investment in your future self that pays off in saved money, reduced food waste, and the mental freedom to focus on what truly matters
Choose Your Riot
Private Dinner (2–4): Designed for 2 to 4 guests. Elite technique meets the comfort of your own home. An intimate, multi-course invasion. Perfect for date nights or small circles who demand the best.
Dinner Party (6–12): Designed for 6 to 12 guests. We scale the flavor and the service for a night your guests won't stop talking about. A curated riot for your inner circle. We handle the heat; you handle the guests.
YOUR HOME. OUR RIOT. Whether you’re looking for a quiet, high-end takeover or a loud, multi-course spectacle, we bring the heat directly to your kitchen. From the focused precision of a Private Dinner (2-4)—perfect for an intimate night where the food is the main event—to the high-energy chaos of a Dinner Party (6-12) where we fuel the conversation for your entire inner circle, The Culinary Riot transforms your home into the city's most exclusive underground table. We don't just cook; we invade your space with world-class ingredients and a rebellious spirit, leaving you with nothing to do but choose your riot and enjoy the wreckage.
The Arsenal Audit
STOCK THE ARMORY
A chef is only as good as their tools, and your pantry is your ammunition. Stop cooking with blanks and let us overhaul your kitchen from the ground up. The Arsenal Audit is a tactical deep-dive into your shelves, designed to eliminate waste and replace "meh" ingredients with the professional-grade essentials you actually need. We don’t just organize; we weaponize your kitchen for high-performance cooking.
We start with a full-scale raid of your current inventory—tossing the expired, the useless, and the uninspired. From there, we handle the mission-critical grocery haul, restocking your pantry with the oils, spices, and staples used in the world’s best kitchens. By the time we’re done, you won’t just have a kitchen; you’ll have a professional setup ready for any culinary uprising.